Fathers Day

It used to be easy to celebrate. I looked forward to celebrating the man I thought I knew, the man I married, shared life with, raised our babies with. But after finding out about the lies, the betrayal, and the addiction, it became harder to see all the things that you did right. It was easier to look at your flaws.

Holidays and anniversaries began to harbor hard feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, grief, and sadness. I would get anxiety leading up to these days, and the day of would throw me in a fog.

Why would I want to celebrate somebody Who caused so much pain in the kids and I’s life?

They still loved, admired, and looked up to you like you were the greatest man on earth. I love that they see you that way even though I hope our daughters never marry someone who could do such a thing. And that our son won’t ever follow in your footsteps.

It’s hard to swallow my pride to celebrate you. But I never regret it when I do. You are still a good father. Even when you left our family. You never stopped providing.

So every holiday and anniversary from here on out, even though there's still is a deep-rooted sadness. I want to have good moments and enjoy them. So I have to trust and not live in fear. Take it day by day. Because if I don’t, that sadness and that fear will live on forever.

If Fathers Day is hard for you, for whatever reason, acknowledge the reasons why. Know that it is okay to be mad, sad, and hurt. Your feelings are valid. It's also okay to take this day and do something for yourself. Stay off social media, relax, journal, or talk with a good friend. Do whatever it is that you feel you need at that moment. If you feel yourself stressing about it, leading up to the days of the holiday, you need to work through that, so it doesn’t make the day worse.

I love you! I'm here for you, and I'm always rooting for you. You are amazing, and you will rock this life.

Love always,

Tiffany